HANDLING CRITICISM

 

Often at times many of us react with defensiveness, rage or even worse tend to attack our critics. But the veracity is, we need to get over it because being able to handle it calmly and professionally will only help us maintain relationships and be more successful in everything we do.

These tips would aid you handle criticism with tact :

1. Stop Your First Reaction

At the first sign of criticism, before doing anything—Pause! Ensure that you do not react at all. You will have at least a minute to stop your reaction. A minute really might seem insignificant in real life, but is ample time for your brain to process a situation. And in that moment, you can halt a contemptuous facial expression and remind yourself to stay calm.

2.Don’t take it personally

Constructive criticism is not an insult or a reflection on who you are as a person. It’s merely someone’s observations about their interactions with you in a business context. Whether the person is well-meaning or just being mean-spirited doesn’t really matter. Respond respectfully as though your critic's intentions are good, and come from a place of gratitude for the information.

Moreover, you’re smart and savvy enough to determine how valid the feedback is and what to do about it.

3.Remember the Benefits of Getting Feedback

Now that you have gotten a few seconds, it's important that you remind yourself of the benefits of receiving constructive criticism namely: to improve your skills, work product, and relationships, as well as help you meet the expectations that your customers, boss and others have of you.

Ensure you curtail any reaction you’re having towards the person who is delivering the feedback-Whether it  be  from a child, co-worker, a peer, or someone that you don’t fully respect.

4.Listen to gain Understanding

You’ve successfully avoided your typical reaction, your brain is working, and you’ve recalled all the benefits of feedback. Now, you’re ready to engage in a productive dialogue as your competent, thoughtful self as opposed to your combative, Mean self.

As the person shares feedback with you, listen closely. Allow the person to share his or her complete thoughts, without interruption. When he or she is done, repeat back what you heard. For example, “I hear you saying that you want  me to improve on service delivery, is that right?” At this point, avoid analyzing or questioning the person’s assessment; instead, just focus on understanding his or her remarks and views. 

5.Say "Thank You"

This might sound hard though, look the person in the eyes and thank him or her for sharing feedback with you. Be sincere and say, “I really appreciate you taking the time to talk about this with me.” Expressing appreciation doesn’t have to mean you’re agreeing with the assessment, but it does show that you’re acknowledging the effort that person took to evaluate you and share his or her thoughts.

6.Ask Questions to Analyze the Feedback

Now it’s time to process the feedback—you’ll probably want to get more clarity at this point and share your perspective. Avoid engaging in a debate; instead, ask questions to get to the root of the actual issues being raised and possible solutions for addressing them. For example, if a co-worker tells you "you got a little heated in a meeting", here are a few ways to deconstruct the feedback:

• Seek specific examples to help you understand the issue: “I was a little frustrated, but can you share when in the meeting you thought I got heated?”
• Acknowledge the feedback that is not in dispute: “You’re right that I did cut him off while he was talking, and I later apologized for that.”
• Try to understand whether this is an isolated issue (e.g., a mistake you made once): “Have you noticed me getting heated in other meetings?”
• Seek specific solutions to address the feedback: “I’d love to hear your ideas on how I might handle this differently in the future.”

7.Request Time to Follow At this point in the conversation, you can agree on the issues that were raised. Once you articulate what you will do going forward, and thank the person again for the feedback, you can close the conversation and move on. That said, if it’s a larger issue, or something presented by your boss, you may want to ask for a follow-up meeting to ask more questions and get agreement on next steps. And that’s okay—it’ll give you time to process the feedback, seek advice from others, and think about possible solutions. 

  

8.Share your progress

If you respect the person who gave you the constructive criticism, you’ll take the advice seriously and actively work on improving your performance in that area. Share your progress with the individual who shared the feedback and show that you heard his or her concerns and are willing to actively take steps to improve your performance. You can prove this, first, by doing better at whatever was critiqued, but also by updating people on what you’ve done in response to their feedback.

9.Be a feedback mirror

When someone shares constructive criticism with you, this individual makes himself or herself vulnerable to criticism. That may be why people are so rarely honest about what they really think of others. People know they have their own faults, but may feel exposed having them pointed out. Offer yourself as a partner in self-improvement by telling others that their feedback is valuable and that you are happy to return the favor.

Nobody’s perfect. From time to time, we all need others to let us know when we aren’t measuring up to our potential. So, constructive criticism, negative feedback or whatever you want to call it is essential to everyone’s self-development. Be an agent of change in this area, and you’ll be rewarded with useful information and better business relations.

Remember : You can either use criticism in a positive way to improve, or in a negative way that can lower your self-esteem and cause stress, anger or even aggression.

YOU ARE A LEADER!!!